Meet the Cast! (updated 6/19/09)

Click on character names for more info, including memorable catchphrases and significant storyline links

Currently Starring:

(a.k.a. Bashful)

The deceptively quiet Angel is actually quite mischievous, a fact that most of The Singles don't realize until it's too late. Although no longer a member of the Foundations of Fellowship class, Angel is still very involved with our group activities. One of the original Three Amigas, Angel is also a core member of The Guilty Girls

Cap'n Bubbles
(a.k.a. Wilson, Ginger)

A fellow songbursty Single, Cap'n Bubbles spends her free time crafting theme songs for --and recasting films and TV shows with-- people she knows. An avid swing dancer, the good Cap'n is also a huge fan of Stargate, Farscape, and, most importantly, Firefly/Serenity.

Cap'n Cluck
(a.k.a. Cluckity, Cap'n Click, Sneezey)

Founding CAP'NS member Cap'n Cluck is a life-long dancer and an aspiring photog, whose nickname comes from her rule of clucking while playing Chickenfoot. A fellow TV junkie, Cluckity also thrives on planning and hosting parties. She has a long-standing love of the Texas State Fair, and wishes it were Christmas 365 days a year. She's also one of the few people who actually thinks playing Encore! is a good idea.

Cap'n Disaster
(a.k.a. Disaster Girl, Center of the Universe)

Founding CAP'NS member and mother of two, Cap'n Disaster is one of the longest-standing blog monkeys in the cast, and, while still a member of The Singles, was probably more responsible than anyone else for proselytizing CoIM. Suffers from an unfortunate belief that it is she, and not I, who is the Center of the Universe. Also tends to forecast disaster for herself in long, rambling scenarios which invariably end with her lying, homeless, drunk in a ditch.

Cap'n Peanut
(a.k.a. The Player, Sweaty, Pretty Boy, Sexy Smile)

As one of PigPen's oldest and closest friends, it should come as no surprise that Cap'n Peanut is of the "we wouldn't make fun of you if we didn't like you" school of thought, and thrives on pushing people's buttons, most especially the girls in the Singles class. Like me, Peanut is generally reserved when he's around a group he doesn't know, and outgoing when he's surrounded by friends; as a result, it wasn't until after I became PigPen's roommate and we wound up hanging out in a mutually comfortable environment that we became good friends. Peanut has been at the forefront of the "get Todd off his lazy butt" movement for the last couple of years. Unfortunately, the fact that he lives a good half-hour away limits his ability to swing by and kick my lazy butt into gear, let alone just hang out.

Cap'n Shack-Fu
(a.k.a. Slack-Fu; Count Shackula, D-Rock, The Lost Wilson Brother, Swamp Thing, Swamp-Fu, Action Hero, Taskmaster, Strooper, Bubba)

One of My Best Friends in the Worldtm -- and now technically my landlord -- the good Cap'n has left Denton to go play special agent in OK. And while I couldn't be prouder of my honorary brother, the fact that he's now over 4 hours away puts a damper on my enthusiasm. Who's going to force me to work out, go paintballing, go rappelling, and do other physical activities I would normally avoid now that my super-athletic, super-active, super-persuasive best bud is gone?

(a.k.a. Bob, Honors Queen (H.Q.), Dancing Queen)

Fluffy Bob the Honors Queen is probably my most politically minded friend. Her hobbies include dancing, arguing with Peanut, and beating up Shack-Fu at holiday dinners. Fluffy is a college honors' advisor, which means that every day she has to work with college students who greatly resemble The Parkerites - - the poor, poor soul.

Li'l Random McEvil
(a.k.a. Li'l Brother, Li'l Dill Wonderboy, Dino, Pickle Boy, Whippersnapper, Blinky, Lazy Bum, Dirty Hippie, Hypo, The Grey Man, Little Big Spartan, Wrongway, Baby Pterodactyl, Nickname Magnet, Faun, Pan's Laberoso, Ugly Duckling, Smoochy, Li'l Weirdo, Tin Man, Cheetah George of the Golden Leg)

One of the most random beings on the face of the planet -- and I mean that in a good way -- Li'l Random is one of the few people I know with a mind as dark and twisty as my own; in fact, he often claims that he and I share a brain, which could be part of why he is not only One of My Favorite People in the Worldtm but also One of My Best Friends in the Worldtm -- the poor guy. Almost as allergic to returning phone calls as Flunky is to returning emails. I consider Li'l Random my Li'l Brother, in the sense that I feel paradoxically compelled to both watch out for him and to torment him ceaselessly. In addition to providing fodder for embarrassing nicknames and tooling around in his wonder-vehicle The Night Roller, Li'l Random spends his spare time trying to convince people that, contrary to his appearance, he has been of voting age for nearly a decade.

(a.k.a. The Cable Guy , Lord Nykon, Gemini, The Anti-Cap'n)

Former roommate and fellow TV junkie. A rabid Mavs and Cowboys fan, he also loves to go bowling, play frisbee golf, and expand his staggering DVD collection.

(a.k.a. Slacker Maghee, Ginger Bastage, Red, Half-Whole, Jake-Hole, Paco, Sparky, Coach, The Lovable PigPen)

Former roomie PigPen thrives on three things: winning, pushing people's buttons, and that vile drink known as Dr. Pepper. Although I consider him One of My Best Friends in the Worldtm, I have a bit of a love/mega-loathe relationship with The Lovable PigPen, who serves as my constant sparing partner in realms both physical and mental. I tend to think of as him as my paradoxical friend, pledging to help me break free of my negative self-image one moment and zinging me with his mental ninja skills the next. The hyperactive PigPen devotes most of his spare time to athletic pursuits: softball, football, basketball, raquetball, and regularly beating the crap out of me with his 13 years of wrestling experience.

(a.k.a. Mei-mei, Electra Woman)

Although never officially a part of the Foundations of Fellowship class, Slick shares honorary member status with former FoFers Trouble and Angel. Having grown up with several brothers, Slick is highly competitive, as anyone who has witnessed her and Li'l Random play their homemade card-tossing game can testify. Although one of the few members of the group who has an aversion to watching movies -- she has trouble keeping still and staying awake -- Slick is an avid sports fan.

(a.k.a. Cookies)

Squiggly is currently working on her doctorate in school psychology with a minor in neuropsychology; due to this, she is constantly diagnosing The Singles and our many, many, many psychological problems. When not diagnosing us, she enjoys drafting members of the group into her karate class, so she can have an excuse to kick us.

(a.k.a. Sybil, Cheesehead, Blondie Blaarrrgghhh)

Self-proclaimed arch-nemesis of Cap'n Peanut and The Lovable PigPen, Sunshine wages war on them at the insistence of the voices in her head -- 8 to be exact -- most of which probably don't appreciate the fact that every time she gets around PigPen, she gets injured . . . a feeling I can empathize with . . .

(a.k.a. The Gray Man, Showoff, Showboatter, Hoover, Gunny Highway)

My most recent roomie, TopGun and I met thanks to mutual friend Cap'n Shack-Fu when TopGun moved to Denton for work and needed a place to live. Not a big fan of being in the spotlight -- hence the picture of DC Comics character The Gray Man to the left -- the perpetually-laid-back TopGun has still consented to allowing me to blog about our misadventures. Possessed of a dry sense of humor delivered by a distinctive, Clint-Eastwood-esque gravelly voice, TopGun's sense of humor meshes pretty well with my own. Self-motivated, productive, and athletic, TopGun is now the primary force in the "encourage Todd to get off his lazy butt" movement -- although, due to his laid-back nature it's more of a subversive, passive aggressive, "shame Todd into working out by virtue of rubbing own athletic example in his face" sort of encouragement.

(a.k.a. T-Rahn)

The prototypical Guilty Girl, the highly mischievous Trouble's nick-name is well-earned. One of the first friends I made in the Singles group, Trouble has moved on to a different class, but is still an honorary member of the F.o.F. when it comes to social functions.

With Appearances By

Bubblegum Tate
(a.k.a. Gumshoe Tate, ibn al-Xuffasch, Super Geek Red)

Fellow Book Monkey and Blogger Bubblegum Tate is the only Book Monkey I chat with regularly, largely because he's the only Book Monkey who's on ICQ as much as I am. A lover of all things noir, Tate has recently become a P.I., although he's finding the life is less like a Chandler novel than could be hoped. Tate is my sole comic geek friend, which is why we collaborate on the sporadically updated comic blog They Came from Earth-K. Married with one child who, thanks the heavens, was not named after The Dark Knight Detective.

Dr. G'ovich
(a.k.a. The Doc, Snake Oil, The Eeeeeevil One)

One of my college roommates, G'ovich (pronounced JEE-oh-vich) holds a doctorate in messing with my mind. One of my best friends in college, our friendship has had its ups and downs over the years, but seems to have stabilized on the positive side of the continuum . . . for now. Likes to play the role of villain, which is fitting, since he is pure Eeeeeevil at heart. Married (to Rocket G'ovich) with three kids.

(a.k.a. Nature Boy, Flunkrow, Jackass)

One of my best friends from college, Army officer Flunky has returned to active duty after several years in the private sector nearly drove him insane. Currently stationed in Maryland, Flunky got his nickname courtesy of my grandmother, who couldn't remember his real name. Pathologically averse to returning emails. Plans to use the hypnotic cuteness of his eldest spawn to aide in his long-standing plans for world conquest. Married to Flunky Lover.

Flunky Lover
(a.k.a. Snoop, Shadow Queen)

One of the most straightforward people I know, sometimes brutally so, which is one of the things I like most about her; you never have to wonder about where you stand. Married to Flunky; we all know that she's the real brains behind the world domination thing, but don't like to say anything so Flunky feels better about himself.


King of the movie quotes, Zinger is one of my few friends who is able to fully appreciate comedic masterpieces such as UHF and Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist! Zinger serves as my source for new music, weird websites, and odd news bits. Married to Pooh-Bear.