Flunky (and Spawn)

(a.k.a. Nature Boy, Flunkrow, Jackass)


One of my best friends from college, Army officer Flunky has returned to active duty after several years in the private sector nearly drove him insane. Currently stationed in Maryland, Flunky got his nickname courtesy of my grandmother, who couldn't remember his real name. Pathologically averse to returning emails. Plans to use the hypnotic cuteness of his eldest spawn to aide in his long-standing plans for world conquest. Married to Flunky Lover.

Affiliations: Parkerites, Roomies, PFL

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Jackass!"
"Stop. Stop. Please stop."
"Who wants to play Axis and Allies?"
"Facepaint. Faaaaaacepaint."

Significant Storylines:
The Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic
Kneel! Kneel Before the Spawn of Flunky!
Meet the Parkerites Pt.1
Some of My Best Friends Are Power-Hungry World-Conquerors
Crisis on Earth-K!
Flunky Flashback Five-by-Five . . . by Five
You, Sir, Are an Ass
Just a Perfect Blendship Pt.2: B.F.F.
Later, When Chris Berman Would Remark on the "Rasputins of Football" It Would Conjure Up Very Unpleasant Things For Me. . .
And Lo, There Shall Come an Unveiling
10 More Land Units!
Whammy, Wowee, Zowee! You've Just Been Pranked!
Road Trip, Redux: California, Here We Come!
All Your Base Are Belong to My Roomies
Highly Impressionable
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That