Crisis of Infinite Cast Members

Meet the Cast! (updated 6/19/09)

2009-06-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Click on character names for more info, including memorable catchphrases and significant storyline links

Currently Starring:

Angel
(a.k.a. Bashful)

The deceptively quiet Angel is actually quite mischievous, a fact that most of The Singles don't realize until it's too late. Although no longer a member of the Foundations of Fellowship class, Angel is still very involved with our group activities. One of the original Three Amigas, Angel is also a core member of The Guilty Girls

Cap'n Bubbles
(a.k.a. Wilson, Ginger)

A fellow songbursty Single, Cap'n Bubbles spends her free time crafting theme songs for --and recasting films and TV shows with-- people she knows. An avid swing dancer, the good Cap'n is also a huge fan of Stargate, Farscape, and, most importantly, Firefly/Serenity.

Cap'n Cluck
(a.k.a. Cluckity, Cap'n Click, Sneezey)

Founding CAP'NS member Cap'n Cluck is a life-long dancer and an aspiring photog, whose nickname comes from her rule of clucking while playing Chickenfoot. A fellow TV junkie, Cluckity also thrives on planning and hosting parties. She has a long-standing love of the Texas State Fair, and wishes it were Christmas 365 days a year. She's also one of the few people who actually thinks playing Encore! is a good idea.

Cap'n Disaster
(a.k.a. Disaster Girl, Center of the Universe)

Founding CAP'NS member and mother of two, Cap'n Disaster is one of the longest-standing blog monkeys in the cast, and, while still a member of The Singles, was probably more responsible than anyone else for proselytizing CoIM. Suffers from an unfortunate belief that it is she, and not I, who is the Center of the Universe. Also tends to forecast disaster for herself in long, rambling scenarios which invariably end with her lying, homeless, drunk in a ditch.

Cap'n Peanut
(a.k.a. The Player, Sweaty, Pretty Boy, Sexy Smile)

As one of PigPen's oldest and closest friends, it should come as no surprise that Cap'n Peanut is of the "we wouldn't make fun of you if we didn't like you" school of thought, and thrives on pushing people's buttons, most especially the girls in the Singles class. Like me, Peanut is generally reserved when he's around a group he doesn't know, and outgoing when he's surrounded by friends; as a result, it wasn't until after I became PigPen's roommate and we wound up hanging out in a mutually comfortable environment that we became good friends. Peanut has been at the forefront of the "get Todd off his lazy butt" movement for the last couple of years. Unfortunately, the fact that he lives a good half-hour away limits his ability to swing by and kick my lazy butt into gear, let alone just hang out.

Cap'n Shack-Fu
(a.k.a. Slack-Fu; Count Shackula, D-Rock, The Lost Wilson Brother, Swamp Thing, Swamp-Fu, Action Hero, Taskmaster, Strooper, Bubba)

One of My Best Friends in the World^tm-- and now technically my landlord -- the good Cap'n has left Denton to go play special agent in OK. And while I couldn't be prouder of my honorary brother, the fact that he's now over 4 hours away puts a damper on my enthusiasm. Who's going to force me to work out, go paintballing, go rappelling, and do other physical activities I would normally avoid now that my super-athletic, super-active, super-persuasive best bud is gone?

Fluffy
(a.k.a. Bob, Honors Queen (H.Q.), Dancing Queen)

Fluffy Bob the Honors Queen is probably my most politically minded friend. Her hobbies include dancing, arguing with Peanut, and beating up Shack-Fu at holiday dinners. Fluffy is a college honors' advisor, which means that every day she has to work with college students who greatly resemble The Parkerites - - the poor, poor soul.

Li'l Random McEvil
(a.k.a. Li'l Brother, Li'l Dill Wonderboy, Dino, Pickle Boy, Whippersnapper, Blinky, Lazy Bum, Dirty Hippie, Hypo, The Grey Man, Little Big Spartan, Wrongway, Baby Pterodactyl, Nickname Magnet, Faun, Pan's Laberoso, Ugly Duckling, Smoochy, Li'l Weirdo, Tin Man, Cheetah George of the Golden Leg)

One of the most random beings on the face of the planet -- and I mean that in a good way -- Li'l Random is one of the few people I know with a mind as dark and twisty as my own; in fact, he often claims that he and I share a brain, which could be part of why he is not only One of My Favorite People in the World^tm but also One of My Best Friends in the World^tm-- the poor guy. Almost as allergic to returning phone calls as Flunky is to returning emails. I consider Li'l Random my Li'l Brother, in the sense that I feel paradoxically compelled to both watch out for him and to torment him ceaselessly. In addition to providing fodder for embarrassing nicknames and tooling around in his wonder-vehicle The Night Roller, Li'l Random spends his spare time trying to convince people that, contrary to his appearance, he has been of voting age for nearly a decade.

Maverick
(a.k.a. ~~The Cable Guy~~ , Lord Nykon, Gemini, The Anti-Cap'n)

Former roommate and fellow TV junkie. A rabid Mavs and Cowboys fan, he also loves to go bowling, play frisbee golf, and expand his staggering DVD collection.

PigPen
(a.k.a. Slacker Maghee, Ginger Bastage, Red, Half-Whole, Jake-Hole, Paco, Sparky, Coach, The Lovable PigPen)

Former roomie PigPen thrives on three things: winning, pushing people's buttons, and that vile drink known as Dr. Pepper. Although I consider him One of My Best Friends in the World^tm, I have a bit of a love/mega-loathe relationship with The Lovable PigPen, who serves as my constant sparing partner in realms both physical and mental. I tend to think of as him as my paradoxical friend, pledging to help me break free of my negative self-image one moment and zinging me with his mental ninja skills the next. The hyperactive PigPen devotes most of his spare time to athletic pursuits: softball, football, basketball, raquetball, and regularly beating the crap out of me with his 13 years of wrestling experience.

Slick
(a.k.a. Mei-mei, Electra Woman)

Although never officially a part of the Foundations of Fellowship class, Slick shares honorary member status with former FoFers Trouble and Angel. Having grown up with several brothers, Slick is highly competitive, as anyone who has witnessed her and Li'l Random play their homemade card-tossing game can testify. Although one of the few members of the group who has an aversion to watching movies -- she has trouble keeping still and staying awake -- Slick is an avid sports fan.

Squiggly
(a.k.a. Cookies)

Squiggly is currently working on her doctorate in school psychology with a minor in neuropsychology; due to this, she is constantly diagnosing The Singles and our many, many, many psychological problems. When not diagnosing us, she enjoys drafting members of the group into her karate class, so she can have an excuse to kick us.

Sunshine
(a.k.a. Sybil, Cheesehead, Blondie Blaarrrgghhh)

Self-proclaimed arch-nemesis of Cap'n Peanut and The Lovable PigPen, Sunshine wages war on them at the insistence of the voices in her head -- 8 to be exact -- most of which probably don't appreciate the fact that every time she gets around PigPen, she gets injured . . . a feeling I can empathize with . . .

TopGun
(a.k.a. The Gray Man, Showoff, Showboatter, Hoover, Gunny Highway)

My most recent roomie, TopGun and I met thanks to mutual friend Cap'n Shack-Fu when TopGun moved to Denton for work and needed a place to live. Not a big fan of being in the spotlight -- hence the picture of DC Comics character The Gray Man to the left -- the perpetually-laid-back TopGun has still consented to allowing me to blog about our misadventures. Possessed of a dry sense of humor delivered by a distinctive, Clint-Eastwood-esque gravelly voice, TopGun's sense of humor meshes pretty well with my own. Self-motivated, productive, and athletic, TopGun is now the primary force in the "encourage Todd to get off his lazy butt" movement -- although, due to his laid-back nature it's more of a subversive, passive aggressive, "shame Todd into working out by virtue of rubbing own athletic example in his face" sort of encouragement.

Trouble
(a.k.a. T-Rahn)

The prototypical Guilty Girl, the highly mischievous Trouble's nick-name is well-earned. One of the first friends I made in the Singles group, Trouble has moved on to a different class, but is still an honorary member of the F.o.F. when it comes to social functions.

With Appearances By

Bubblegum Tate
(a.k.a. Gumshoe Tate, ibn al-Xuffasch, Super Geek Red)

Fellow Book Monkey and Blogger Bubblegum Tate is the only Book Monkey I chat with regularly, largely because he's the only Book Monkey who's on ICQ as much as I am. A lover of all things noir, Tate has recently become a P.I., although he's finding the life is less like a Chandler novel than could be hoped. Tate is my sole comic geek friend, which is why we collaborate on the sporadically updated comic blog They Came from Earth-K. Married with one child who, thanks the heavens, was not named after The Dark Knight Detective.

Dr. G'ovich
(a.k.a. The Doc, Snake Oil, The Eeeeeevil One)

One of my college roommates, G'ovich (pronounced JEE-oh-vich) holds a doctorate in messing with my mind. One of my best friends in college, our friendship has had its ups and downs over the years, but seems to have stabilized on the positive side of the continuum . . . for now. Likes to play the role of villain, which is fitting, since he is pure Eeeeeevil at heart. Married (to Rocket G'ovich) with three kids.

Flunky
(a.k.a. Nature Boy, Flunkrow, Jackass)

One of my best friends from college, Army officer Flunky has returned to active duty after several years in the private sector nearly drove him insane. Currently stationed in Maryland, Flunky got his nickname courtesy of my grandmother, who couldn't remember his real name. Pathologically averse to returning emails. Plans to use the hypnotic cuteness of his eldest spawn to aide in his long-standing plans for world conquest. Married to Flunky Lover.

Flunky Lover
(a.k.a. Snoop, Shadow Queen)

One of the most straightforward people I know, sometimes brutally so, which is one of the things I like most about her; you never have to wonder about where you stand. Married to Flunky; we all know that she's the real brains behind the world domination thing, but don't like to say anything so Flunky feels better about himself.

Zinger

King of the movie quotes, Zinger is one of my few friends who is able to fully appreciate comedic masterpieces such as UHF and Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist! Zinger serves as my source for new music, weird websites, and odd news bits. Married to Pooh-Bear.

MORE TO COME . . . SOMETIME! MAYBE! IF I FEEL LIKE IT!

TopGun

2009-06-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

(a.k.a. The Gray Man, Showoff, Showboatter, Hoover, Gunny Highway)

My most recent roomie, TopGun and I met thanks to mutual friend Cap'n Shack-Fu when TopGun moved to Denton for work and needed a place to live. Not a big fan of being in the spotlight -- hence the picture of DC comics character The Gray Man to the left -- the perpetually-laid-back TopGun has still consented to allowing me to blog about our misadventures. Possessed of a dry sense of humor delivered by a distinctive, Clint-Eastwood-esque gravelly voice, TopGun's sense of humor meshes pretty well with my own. Self-motivated, productive, and athletic, TopGun is now the primary force in the "encourage Todd to get off his lazy butt" movement -- although, due to his laid-back nature it's more of a subversive, passive aggressive, "shame Todd into working out by virtue of rubbing own athletic example in his face" sort of encouragement.

Affiliations: Singles, Roomies

Memorable Catchphrases:
"What?!?!"
"That's stupid."

Significant Storylines:
Move Over, Li'l Random, There's a New "Grey Man" In Town!
Fragmented Fri - Five Posts in One Week? That's Unpossible!

Sunshine

2007-11-30T05:59:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. Sybil, Cheesehead, Blondie Blaarrrgghhh)

Self-proclaimed arch-nemesis of Cap'n Peanut and The Lovable PigPen, Sunshine wages war on them at the insistence of the voices in her head -- 8 to be exact -- most of which probably don't appreciate the fact that every time she gets around PigPen, she gets injured . . . a feeling I can empathize with . . .

Affiliations: Singles

Memorable Catchphrases:
"The voices in my head don't like you."
"Go Packers!"
"You crossed the line, you crossed the line!"
"Sunshine and lollipops, yay!"

Significant Storylines:
Spooky Singles
Thankful Thursday 2008
A Low-Key Singles Thanksgiving, or "Sadly, No Boot to the Head This Year"

Trouble

2007-11-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

(a.k.a. T-Rahn)

The prototypical Guilty Girl, the highly mischievous Trouble's nick-name is well-earned. One of the first friends I made in the Singles group, Trouble has moved on to a different class, but is still an honorary member of the F.o.F. when it comes to social functions.

Affiliations: Singles, Amigas, Guilty Girls

Memorable Catchphrases:
I refuse to be segregated!

Significant Storylines:
Vox Popular
No, seriously, I used to be shy! Honest!
Cast of Characters: Singling out the Singles
Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic pt.14 - Are We There Yet?
Dying on Stage
Christmas Time With Cap'n Claude, Trivia Geek
4 Non-Trivia Games, 4 Straight Losses; I Sense a Pattern Here
Stupor-Bowl
What a Troublesome Birthday
What a Bunch of Mohoohoo!
Cardinal Points
The PigPen Paradigm
Random Is as Random Does
Abnormal
This is a Subliminal Blog Post
The Dubbing of What's-her-name
¡Amigas No Mas; Ahora Son Las Muchachas Culpables!
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!

Angel

2007-11-14T12:58:00.000-08:00

(a.k.a. Bashful)

The deceptively quiet Angel is actually quite mischievous, a fact that most of The Singles don't realize until it's too late. Although no longer a member of the Foundations of Fellowship class, Angel is still very involved with our group activities. One of the original Three Amigas, Angel is also a core member of The Guilty Girls

Affiliations: Singles, The Guilty Girls, Three Amigas

Memorable catchphrases:
"Good clean fun, no harm done!"

Significant Storylines:
Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic pt.14 - Are We There Yet?
Bye Bye, Birdie?
Fractured Finger Friday - Poking Fun
Spooky Singles
¡Amigas No Mas; Ahora Son Las Muchachas Culpables!
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.4 - Tempting Fate, or "Good Clean Fun, No Harm Done!"

Slick

2007-11-06T12:24:00.000-08:00

(a.k.a. Mei-mei, Electra Woman)

Although never officially a part of the Foundations of Fellowship class, Slick shares honorary member status with former FoFers Trouble and Angel. Having grown up with several brothers, Slick is highly competitive, as anyone who has witnessed her and Li'l Random play their homemade card-tossing game can testify. Although one of the few members of the group who has an aversion to watching movies -- she has trouble keeping still and staying awake -- Slick is an avid sports fan.

Affiliations: Singles, Guilty Girls

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Like me less!" {in response to claims that we only make fun of those we like}

Significant Storylines:
Spooky Singles
The Dubbing of What's-her-name
¡Amigas No Mas; Ahora Son Las Muchachas Culpables!
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.4 - Tempting Fate, or "Good Clean Fun, No Harm Done!"

Cast Member Archives

2007-07-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, as I find myself having to update the cast descriptions, I also find myself loathe to totally destroy the original versions of the text. And so, for those whose descriptions are undergoing major revisions, I have created this page to preserve my initial impressions and descriptions for posterity's sake.

6/19/09

Cap'n Shack-Fu
One of My Best Friends in the World^tm, Cap'n Shack-Fu is in constant competition for the Most Hyperactive Single title with fellow Hyper Twin, PigPen. An avid biker, swimmer, rock climber, paintballer, etc., Shack-Fu must perpetually be in motion, lest his head explode. In addition to pushing me to my limits at the gym as my workout partner/taskmaster, Shack-Fu also serves as a frequent sparring partner for me. Due to his job, is often being shipped out of state, much to the dismay of all. As one of the short list of people I trust enough to go to with my problems, what's left of his sanity is sure to be short-lived.

12/1/07
PigPen
One of my current roommates, PigPen was the uncontested holder of the "Most Hyperactive Single" title until fellow Hyper Twin Shack-Fu came around. Having wrestled in high school for 12 years (his words, not mine), PigPen is naturally a big Oklahoma State fan. PigPen has a knack for remembering movie lines that rivals Zinger. Is currently suffering under the delusion that Dr. Pepper is a superior beverage to Coca-Cola; pity him. Has recently take it upon himself to make breaking me of my negative tendencies his pet project; pity me.

7/10/07
Li'l Dill Wonderboy
(a.k.a. Dino, , Pickle Boy, Whippersnapper, Blinky, Lazy Bum, Dirty Hippie, Hypo, The Grey Man, Little Big Spartan, Wrongway, Baby Pterodactyl, Nickname Magnet)

Li'l Dill's nickname comes from the following two facts: (1) as a child he was named Little Dill Pickle at the Picklefest in Atkins, AK; (2) he went to school at Arkansas Tech, home of the Arkansas Tech Wonderboys. On a related note, Li'l Dill would like me to urge all visitors to the Singles class not to volunteer any personal information at all. Ever. Especially if they're from Arkansas. In addition to providing fodder for embarrassing nicknames and tooling around in his wonder-vehicle The Night Roller, Li'l Dill spends his time trying to convince people that, contrary to his appearance, he has been of voting age for nearly a decade. Quite possibly the most random human being alive.

Affiliations: Singles, HyperForce 3000, Odd Squodd

Memorable Catchphrases:
Oh, snap!
How do you like them apples?
Why did I ever tell Shack-Fu I played paintball? Why? WHY?!?!?!

Cap'n Bubbles

2007-07-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

(a.k.a. Wilson, Ginger)

A fellow songbursty Single, Cap'n Bubbles spends her free time crafting theme songs for --and recasting films and TV shows with-- people she knows. An avid swing dancer, the good Cap'n is also a huge fan of Stargate, Farscape, and, most importantly, Firefly/Serenity.

Affiliations: Singles

Memorable catchphrases:
{singing} "Todd, Todd, glorious Todd!"

Significant Storylines:
HyperForce 3000 Reunited!
Getting Back on the Blogging Tracks
Two Surprises for the Price of One
B.B. Tried to Warn Us: a Tale of Li'l Random McEvil
Fragmented Friday is also a Frilly's Friday!
Spooky Singles

Cap'n Disaster

2007-01-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

(a.k.a. Disaster Girl, Center of the Universe)

Founding CAP'NS member and mother of two Cap'n Disaster is one of the longest-standing blog monkeys in the cast, and, while still a member of The Singles, was probably more responsible than anyone else for proselytizing CoIM. Suffers from an unfortunate belief that it is she, and not I, who is the Center of the Universe. Also tends to forecast disaster for herself in long, rambling scenarios which invariably end with her lying, homeless, drunk in a ditch.

Affiliations: Singles (former), CAP'NS

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Hey, everyone, look at me!"
"Superstar!"
" . . . homeless, lying drunk in a ditch."

Significant storylines:
Vox Popular
No, Seriously, I Used to be Shy, Honest!
Singling Out the Singles
Cap'n Cellophane
Me Llamo Cap'n Pusher
Pomp and Unusual Circumstances
Homeless Lying Drunk in a Ditch
Christmas Time with Cap'n Claude, Trivia Geek
I'm Interested in Their Reaction to My Performance of the Monkey Dance on the Video . . .
Have a Delightful Disaster Day!
A Surprise, a Non-Surprise, and the Most Evil Game Ever Devised
Cardinal Points

Zinger Stoneheart

2006-12-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

King of the movie quotes, Zinger is one of my few friends who is able to fully appreciate comedic masterpieces such as UHF and Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist! Zinger serves as my source for new music, weird websites, and odd news bits. Married to Pooh-Bear.

Affiliations: Parkerites, PFL

Memorable Catchphrases:
"You're killing me, Smalls."
"You can't manufacture inspirado."
"Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie."

Signifcant Storylines:
Meet the Parkerites
The Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic
Dress Shoes of Doom
Valentine's Day Meal Massacre
"Ohhhh, in-X-s!" The Cap'n Neurotic Cheet Sheet Parkerite Edition
"Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment to Sparkle Motion"
At Times Like These, I'm Tempted to *Not* Post Out of Sheer Spite
What, Me Random?
Mid-Week Ramblings
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That

Bubblegum Tate

2006-12-19T14:30:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. Gumshoe Tate, ibn al-Xuffasch, Super Geek Red)

Fellow Book Monkey and Blogger Bubblegum Tate is the only Book Monkey I chat with regularly, largely because he's the only Book Monkey who's on ICQ as much as I am. A lover of all things noir, Tate has recently become a P.I., although he's finding the life is less like a Chandler novel than could be hoped. Tate is my sole comic geek friend, which is why we collaborate on the sporadically updated comic blog They Came from Earth-K. Married with one child who, thanks the heavens, was not named after The Dark Knight Detective.

Affiliations: Book Monkeys

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Oh SNAP!"

Significant Storylines:
Barrel of Book Monkeys
Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic Pt.13: Meanwhile, Back at the Library
Bubblegum Tate's Two Fisted Philosophy: Pt.1 and Pt.2
Beware the Killer Book Monkeys!
"Yeah . . . I Didn't Get It" Says N. Syde Joake; Cap'n Neurotic Cheat Sheet , Book Monkey Edition
Fragmented Friday -- Let the Speculation Begin!

Flunky Lover

2006-12-19T11:04:00.004-08:00

(a.k.a. Snoop, Shadow Queen)

One of the most straightforward people I know, sometimes brutally so, which is one of the things I like most about her; you never have to wonder about where you stand. Married to Flunky; we all know that she's the real brains behind the world domination thing, but don't like to say anything so Flunky feels better about himself.

Affiliations: Parkerites, PFL

Significant storylines:
Meet the Parkerites
Booktalk with Flunky Lover

Flunky (and Spawn)

2006-12-19T11:04:00.003-08:00

(a.k.a. Nature Boy, Flunkrow, Jackass)

One of my best friends from college, Army officer Flunky has returned to active duty after several years in the private sector nearly drove him insane. Currently stationed in Maryland, Flunky got his nickname courtesy of my grandmother, who couldn't remember his real name. Pathologically averse to returning emails. Plans to use the hypnotic cuteness of his eldest spawn to aide in his long-standing plans for world conquest. Married to Flunky Lover.

Affiliations: Parkerites, Roomies, PFL

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Jackass!"
"Stop. Stop. Please stop."
"Who wants to play Axis and Allies?"
"Facepaint. Faaaaaacepaint."

Significant Storylines:
The Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic
Kneel! Kneel Before the Spawn of Flunky!
Meet the Parkerites Pt.1
Some of My Best Friends Are Power-Hungry World-Conquerors
Crisis on Earth-K!
Flunky Flashback Five-by-Five . . . by Five
You, Sir, Are an Ass
Just a Perfect Blendship Pt.2: B.F.F.
Later, When Chris Berman Would Remark on the "Rasputins of Football" It Would Conjure Up Very Unpleasant Things For Me. . .
And Lo, There Shall Come an Unveiling
10 More Land Units!
Whammy, Wowee, Zowee! You've Just Been Pranked!
Road Trip, Redux: California, Here We Come!
All Your Base Are Belong to My Roomies
Highly Impressionable
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That

Dr. G'ovich

2006-12-19T11:04:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. The Doc, Snake Oil, The Eeeeeevil One)

One of my college roommates, G'ovich (pronounced JEE-oh-vich) holds a doctorate in messing with my mind. One of my best friends in college, our friendship has had its ups and downs over the years, but seems to have stabilized on the positive side of the continuum . . . for now. Likes to play the role of villain, which is fitting, since he is pure Eeeeeevil at heart. Married (to Rocket G'ovich) with three kids

Affiliations: Parkerites, Roomies, PFL

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Two shiny dimes!"
“You realize you aren’t hurting me at all"
"Don't confuse G'ovich with reality."

Significant Storylines
Curse You, G'ovich! (the post)
A Paradox, a Paradox, a Most Ingenious Paradox
Meet the Parkerites Pt.1
The Secret Origin of Cap'n Neurotic
Curse You, G'ovich! (the blog)
First Semester, First Impressions
"Very Bad Things": A G'ovich Guest Post
Trash Talkin' About Trash Talkin'
Crisis on Earth-K!
Yea, Though I Walk Through the Valley of the Center of Eeeeeeeeeeevil
Just to Be Clear: At No Point During This Story Was Anyone Actually Stripped Naked
10 More Land Units!
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Whammy, Wowee, Zowee! You've Just Been Pranked!
Road Trip, Redux: California, Here We Come!
All Your Base Are Belong to My Roomies
Saturday at Six Flags Pt.1: The Parkerite Experience

Maverick

2006-12-19T10:59:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. ~~The Cable Guy~~ , Lord Nykon, Gemini, The Anti-Cap'n)

Former roommate and fellow TV junkie. A rabid Mavs and Cowboys fan, he also loves to go bowling, play frisbee golf, and expand his staggering DVD collection.

Affiliations: Singles, Paintballers, Softballers, Roomies

Significant Storylines:
Christmas Time with Cap'n Claude, Trivia Geek
Stupor-Bowl
I Choo-Choo-Choose You!
Sitting at the Top of the Tower Would Be So Much Cooler if I Could Actually See . . .
Roomies: The Next Generation
What a Bunch of Mohoohoo!
On the Move
The Digging-est Dog
I Love the Smell of Paintball in the Late Afternoon/Early Evening
They Also Had No Clue Who RuPaul Was, and For That I Envy Them
Random Roomie-Related Ramblings
A Narrow Fellow in the Grass Occasionally Rides
When It Rains, It Pours, So Thank Heaven for Friends
Leapfrogging Into Pain and Humiliation
Don't Call Me, I'll Call You -- I Hope
Random Is as Random Does
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up

Squiggly

2006-12-19T10:58:00.002-08:00

(a.k.a. Cookies)

Squiggly is currently working on her doctorate in school psychology with a minor in neuropsychology; due to this, she is constantly diagnosing The Singles and our many, many, many psychological problems. When not diagnosing us, she enjoys drafting members of the group into her karate class, so she can have an excuse to kick us.

Affiliations: Singles, Paintballers

Memorable Catchphrases:
"It's rightside-up! It's upside-down! It's all squiggly-like!"
"I should be making cookies. With sprinkles."
"Go country dancing? Sorry, I can't; I'm scouting."

Significant Storylines:
Squiggly-Like
Ain't No Party Like a Cap'n Cluck Party
Little Lady
They Also Had No Clue Who RuPaul Was, and For That I Envy Them
Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like a Boot to the Head
This and That
A Very Paintball Christmas pt.1: "I Should Be Making Cookies. With Sprinkles."
A Very Paintball Christmas pt.2: Nothing Says Xmas Like Being Shot by Your Sunday School Teacher
"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday"
When It Rains, It Pours, So Thank Heaven for Friends
Two Surprises for the Price of One
Fragmented Friday - "And Leon's Getting Laaaaaaaaaaaaaarger"
Don't Call Me, I'll Call You -- I Hope
Silver Lining
Random Is as Random Does
Highly Impressionable
The Long Weekend
Mid-Week Ramblings
Star-Spangled Singles
Abnormal
Anarchy at Applebee's: an Evening With Cap'n Bionic, Li'l Weirdo, and Swamp-Fu

Li'l Random McEvil

2006-12-19T10:58:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. Li'l Brother, Li'l Dill Wonderboy, Dino, Pickle Boy, Whippersnapper, Blinky, Lazy Bum, Dirty Hippie, Hypo, The Grey Man, Little Big Spartan, Wrongway, Baby Pterodactyl, Nickname Magnet, Faun, Pan's Laberoso, Ugly Duckling, Smoochy, Li'l Weirdo, Tin Man, Cheetah George of the Golden Leg)

One of the most random beings on the face of the planet -- and I mean that in a good way -- Li'l Random is one of the few people I know with a mind as dark and twisty as my own; in fact, he often claims that he and I share a brain, which could be part of why he is not only One of My Favorite People in the World^tm but also One of My Best Friends in the World^tm-- the poor guy. Almost as allergic to returning phone calls as Flunky is to returning emails. I consider Li'l Random my Li'l Brother, in the sense that I feel paradoxically compelled to both watch out for him and to torment him ceaselessly. In addition to providing fodder for embarrassing nicknames and tooling around in his wonder-vehicle The Night Roller, Li'l Random spends his spare time trying to convince people that, contrary to his appearance, he has been of voting age for nearly a decade.

Affiliations: Singles, HyperForce 3000, Odd Squodd

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Oh, snap!"
"How do you like them apples?"
"Nicely played, Swan, nicely played."
"I've got slick shoes."

Significant Storylines:
This and That
Even His Car Has a Nickname
Li'l Dill is Trying to Kill Me
"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday"
Friday Free-for-all: Singles Snapshots
HyperForce 3000 Reunited!
What, Me Random?
Two Surprises for the Price of One
Fragmented Friday - "And Leon's Getting Laaaaaaaaaaaaaarger"
Fragmented Friday - With Friends Like These . . .
Pan's Laberoso: a tale of the Odd Squodd
Random Is as Random Does
And He Seems Like Such a Nice Guy, Too: Random, but Nice . . .
Life with Li'l Random McEvil: A Sampling
B.B. Tried to Warn Us: a Tale of Li'l Random McEvil
Fragmented Friday is also a Frilly's Friday!
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That
Anarchy at Applebee's: an Evening With Cap'n Bionic, Li'l Weirdo, and Swamp-Fu
Spooky Singles
The Dubbing of What's-her-name
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up
A Neurotic Narrative Need
Thankful Thursday 2008
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!

Fluffy

2006-12-19T10:57:00.003-08:00

(a.k.a. Bob, Honors Queen (H.Q.), Dancing Queen)

Fluffy Bob the Honors Queen is probably my most politically minded friend. Her hobbies include dancing, arguing with Peanut, and beating up Shack-Fu at holiday dinners. Fluffy is a college honors' advisor, which means that every day she has to work with college students who greatly resemble The Parkerites - - the poor, poor soul.

Affiliations: Singles

Memorable catchphrases:
"I can't work like this!"
"I'm this many."

Significant Storylines:
A Surprise, a Non-Surprise, and the Most Evil Game Ever Devised
Randomness Abounds
Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like a Boot to the Head
"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday"
Friday Free-for-all: Singles Snapshots
HyperForce 3000 Reunited!
When It Rains, It Pours, So Thank Heaven for Friends
Two Surprises for the Price of One
Fragmented Friday - "And Leon's Getting Laaaaaaaaaaaaaarger"
Fragmented Friday is also a Frilly's Friday!
Star-Spangled Singles
Abnormal
Spooky Singles

Cap'n Cluck

2006-12-19T10:57:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. Cluckity, Cap'n Click, Sneezey)

Founding CAP'NS member Cap'n Cluck is a life-long dancer and an aspiring photog, whose nickname comes from her rule of clucking while playing Chickenfoot. A fellow TV junkie, Cluckity also thrives on planning and hosting parties. She has a long-standing love of the Texas State Fair, and wishes it were Christmas 365 days a year. She's also one of the few people who actually thinks playing Encore! is a good idea.

Affiliations: Singles, CAP'NS, Guilty Girls

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Have a cluckity cluck cluck day!"

Significant storylines:
No, Seriously, I Used to be Shy! Honest!
Me Llamo Cap'n Pusher
Dancin' Fool
Christmas Time With Cap'n Klutz
I Choo-Choo-Choose You!
Sitting at the Top of the Tower Would Be So Much Cooler if I Could Actually See . . .
What a Bunch of Mohoohoo!
A Surprise, a Non-Surprise, and the Most Evil Game Ever Devised
Ain't No Party Like a Cap'n Cluck Party
Saturday at Six Flags Pt.1: The Parkerite Experience
Saturday at Six Flags Pt.2: The CAP'NS Experience
The Ups and Downs of the Go-To Guy
Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like a Boot to the Head
Fragmented Friday - "And Leon's Getting Laaaaaaaaaaaaaarger"
Fractured Finger Friday - Poking Fun
Spooky Singles
¡Amigas No Mas; Ahora Son Las Muchachas Culpables!
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.2 - Shock-Fu!
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.4 - Tempting Fate, or "Good Clean Fun, No Harm Done!"

Cap'n Peanut

2006-12-19T10:56:00.000-08:00

(a.k.a. The Player, Sweaty, Pretty Boy, Sexy Smile)

As one of PigPen's oldest and closest friends, it should come as no surprise that Cap'n Peanut is of the "we wouldn't make fun of you if we didn't like you" school of thought, and thrives on pushing people's buttons, most especially the girls in the Singles class. Like me, Peanut is generally reserved when he's around a group he doesn't know, and outgoing when he's surrounded by friends; as a result, it wasn't until after I became PigPen's roommate and we wound up hanging out in a mutually comfortable environment that we became good friends. Peanut has been at the forefront of the "get Todd off his lazy butt" movement for the last couple of years. Unfortunately, the fact that he lives a good half-hour away limits his ability to swing by and kick my lazy butt into gear, let alone just hang out.

Affiliations: Singles, HyperForce 3000

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Man, I'm starving!"
"I know, huh?"
"Yes!" (accompanied by an arm pump, usually used when one of the girls decides not to sit next to him)

Significant Storylines:
Everybody Likes a Little . . .
Peanut Smash!
Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like a Boot to the Head
One Crazy Night pt.1: Shack-Fu to the Rescue!
One Crazy Night pt.2: The Hyper-Quadruplets
When It Rains, It Pours, So Thank Heaven for Friends
Two Surprises for the Price of One
What, Fisticuffs?
This is a Subliminal Blog Post
Spooky Singles
Thankful Thursday 2008
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.4 - Tempting Fate, or "Good Clean Fun, No Harm Done!"
A Low-Key Singles Thanksgiving, or "Sadly, No Boot to the Head This Year"

Cap'n Shack-Fu

2006-12-19T10:52:00.001-08:00

(a.k.a. Slack-Fu; Count Shackula, D-Rock, The Lost Wilson Brother, Swamp Thing, Swamp-Fu, Action Hero, Taskmaster, Strooper, Bubba)

One of My Best Friends in the World^tm-- and now technically my landlord -- the good Cap'n has left Denton to go play special agent in OK. And while I couldn't be prouder of my honorary brother, the fact that he's now over 4 hours away puts a damper on my enthusiasm. Who's going to force me to work out, go paintballing, go rappelling, and do other physical activities I would normally avoid now that my super-athletic, super-active, super-persuasive best bud is gone?

Affiliations: Singles, Paintballers, HyperTwins, HyperForce 3000, Roomies

Memorable Catchphrases:
"Shack-Fu you to pieces!"
"Don't make me make you have to hurt me."
"Normal."

Significant Storylines:
I Love the Smell of Paintball in the Late Afternoon/Early Evening
They Also Had No Clue Who RuPaul Was, and For That I Envy Them
Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like a Boot to the Head
This and That
A Very Paintball Christmas pt.1: "I Should Be Making Cookies. With Sprinkles."
A Very Paintball Christmas pt.2: Nothing Says Xmas Like Being Shot by Your Sunday School Teacher
Hyper Twins!
One Crazy Night pt.1: Shack-Fu to the Rescue!
One Crazy Night pt.2: The Hyper-Quadruplets
"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday"
Friday Free-for-all: Singles Snapshots
HyperForce 3000 Reunited!
When It Rains, It Pours, So Thank Heaven for Friends
Two Surprises for the Price of One
The Legend of Shack-Fu: Cap'n Shack vs. the Speed Demon
Fragmented Friday -- Let the Speculation Begin!
Fragmented Friday - "And Leon's Getting Laaaaaaaaaaaaaarger"
Fragmented Friday - With Friends Like These . . .
B.B. Tried to Warn Us: a Tale of Li'l Random McEvil
The Long Weekend
Fragmented Friday is also a Frilly's Friday!
Shack-Fu is On the Road Again
Mid-Week Ramblings
Star-Spangled Singles
Abnormal
Personally, I'm Curious About What Else Is on His "Life List" . . .
Anarchy at Applebee's: an Evening With Cap'n Bionic, Li'l Weirdo, and Swamp-Fu
Fractured Finger Friday - Poking Fun
Fractured Finger Friday - Visual Aids
My How Time Flies When You're a HyperForcer
This is a Subliminal Blog Post
Spooky Singles
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.2 - Shock-Fu!
A Neurotic Narrative Need
Thankful Thursday 2008
A Low-Key Singles Thanksgiving, or "Sadly, No Boot to the Head This Year"
Fragmented Friday - "Sometimes the Voices Come Together and Make a Funny"

PigPen

2006-12-19T10:49:00.000-08:00

(a.k.a. Slacker Maghee, Ginger Bastage, Red, Half-Whole, Jake-Hole, Paco, Sparky, Coach, The Lovable PigPen)

Former roomie PigPen thrives on three things: winning, pushing people's buttons, and that vile drink known as Dr. Pepper. Although I consider him One of My Best Friends in the World^tm, I have a bit of a love/mega-loathe relationship with The Lovable PigPen, who serves as my constant sparing partner in realms both physical and mental. I tend to think of as him as my paradoxical friend, pledging to help me break free of my negative self-image one moment and zinging me with his mental ninja skills the next. The hyperactive PigPen devotes most of his spare time to athletic pursuits: softball, football, basketball, raquetball, and regularly beating the crap out of me with his 13 years of wrestling experience.

Affiliations: Singles, Paintballers, Softballers, Roomies, HyperTwins, HyperForce 3000

Memorable Catchphrases:
"But I like the cookie!"
"Badger badger badger badger."
"Science damn it!"
"I win!"
"Where's your head at?"

Significant Storylines:
On the Move
The Great Cola Debate
Downtown!
Everybody Likes a Little . . .
For Science!
I Love the Smell of Paintball in the Late Afternoon/Early Evening
They Also Had No Clue Who RuPaul Was, and For That I Envy Them
Nothing Says Thanksgiving Like a Boot to the Head
A Very Paintball Christmas pt.1: "I Should Be Making Cookies. With Sprinkles."
A Very Paintball Christmas pt.2: Nothing Says Xmas Like Being Shot by Your Sunday School Teacher
Hyper Twins!
Now, Why Do I Keep Hearing GOB Bluth Saying "I've Made a Huge Mistake" Over and Over in My Head . . .
Random Roomie-Related Ramblings
One Crazy Night pt.1: Shack-Fu to the Rescue!
One Crazy Night pt.2: The Hyper-Quadruplets
Mega-Loathing
Cookies' Revenge and the Muddy March of Doom
In Case You Couldn't Tell, I'm Feeling Much Better Today
Li'l Dill is Trying to Kill Me
"I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday"
The PigPen Paradigm
So Much for Rocket's "I'm Sure He Means It in the Nicest Way Possible" Theory
Friday Free-for-all: Singles Snapshots
Racking Up the Racqueteers
Pitiful Excuse for a Blogger
Racquet vs. Basket
A Narrow Fellow in the Grass Occasionally Rides
HyperForce 3000 Reunited!
What, Me Random?
It's Funny Because It's So Painfully True
When It Rains, It Pours, So Thank Heaven for Friends
Two Surprises for the Price of One
Fragmented Friday -- Let the Speculation Begin!
What, Fisticuffs?
He's Not the Devil, but He Plays One on My Blog
Cap'n T.M.I.
Ultimate Benjiman Street Fighting Presents: PigPen "The Humiliator" Diablo vs. Cap'n Todd "The Hacker" Neurotic
Leapfrogging Into Pain and Humiliation
Fragmented Friday - With Friends Like These . . .
Don't Call Me, I'll Call You -- I Hope
"I've Got a Proposition for You": an Excerpt from The Boys of Benjiman Street
Pan's Laberoso: a tale of the Odd Squodd
Random Is as Random Does
Life with The Lovable PigPen: a Snapshot
The Long Weekend
Fragmented Friday is also a Frilly's Friday!
Mid-Week Ramblings
Abnormal
Personally, I'm Curious About What Else Is on His "Life List" . . .
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That
Anarchy at Applebee's: an Evening With Cap'n Bionic, Li'l Weirdo, and Swamp-Fu
Fractured Finger Friday - Poking Fun
Fractured Finger Friday - Return of the Bird
Couldn't Have Worked Out Better If I Had Planned It
Rise of The Guilty Girls Pt.1 - Beading Us Up
A Neurotic Narrative Need
Thankful Thursday 2008
Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!
A Low-Key Singles Thanksgiving, or "Sadly, No Boot to the Head This Year"
Fragmented Friday - "Sometimes the Voices Come Together and Make a Funny"